So I have this fairly severe problem called hypoglycemia. It causes the at least daily black-out, the occasional small seizure, and the infrequent pass out. Besides all of this, there is the immediacy of confusion and sometimes anger if I haven't had any sugar in a two-hour period. You see, I metabolize everything I eat lightning fast, so I am always in need of more nutrients...hypoglycemia on top of this makes it so my blood sugar becomes depleted extremely fast, which is the reason for mood swings, poor choices, and other silly parts of my life. Once again, while I was in my computer science class, I realized that I couldn't understand a word the professor was saying and I was just getting upset. So, I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the class so I could go buy some candy. A lot of times when I'm having a problem, I can wait it out, but there are a lot of times where I can't. I bought some lemon heads (& friends) and Mike & Ikes to gobble up to up my blood sugar. A lot of people with hypoglycemia can rely on snacks like apples or celery or something...but I am unfortunately allergic to raw fruits and vegetables. So, really, the only potent enough source of sugar that can help me is candy. If you know me very well, you've probably seen me just munching through candy like a freight train....it's literally what keeps me alive!
I will stop there for fear of this subject turning into an uncontrollable rant about the frustrations of my condition.
In other news, I have a new class that I am facilitating for my job...and as I have had the privilege (never in my life have I spelled that word right the first time) to turn their microphones on and off, I have realized that I may have missed a few key players in the college classroom! As I have observed:
Clyde Clueless: His mouth is always hanging open just a little as he stares fairly blankly at the teacher during class. His blinks are slow and his voice is deep. At the end of subject covered, he carefully raises his hand and declares he has a question. He then asks what the definition is of the word the teacher has been using the entire class period, or when the next class period is, or what exactly of what the teacher said will be on the next exam, or if he could repeat the last three paragraphs, or sometimes he has misunderstood the material completely and asks a question about what that has to do with how big the solar system is. The phones of all the other students immediately emerge when Clyde begins to speak.
Samantha Snackum: Always eating, non-stop. And never fruit-snacks or anything quiet and unnoticed like that. No, Samantha delights in Subway sandwiches, Pringles, sloppy joes, and Arby's. She graciously apologizes to the teacher every time she brings food in, and swears it's not going to happen again...but she just didn't have time for lunch. She usually chews with her mouth open, and she never remembers napkins. The odor of her meal pervades the nostrils of the other classmates, inducing a general trance-like state. Never sit in front of Samantha, because when she laughs at the teacher's dry humor...well...you're not so dry.
Darin Dressup: This kid is always wearing something ridiculous when he walks into class. Whether it is a flowing pirate coat, a bow tie and bowler hat, giant glasses, or garbage man jumpsuit, he always strides in feeling so classy and set apart...which is partially true because no one sits by him. He has this kind of awkward crooked smile, and when he looks at you, it feels like he is eating your soul. It is acceptable to compliment him on his outfits on occasion, but it can be dangerous to encourage him too much.
Lisa Lifestory: Every answer she gives to one of the teacher's questions is a five minute dialogue of her past life experiences. Whenever someone says something about themselves in class, she immediately chimes in, stating that she has also done that very thing...or stating that she has done something that trumps their experience. She seems to believe that the entire classroom is dying to know everything about what she does each day, and all of her childhood memories of being four years old. Even when the teacher is giving the discourse, Lisa can be heard still telling someone about her husband or boyfriend or mother, and that someone is rarely actually listening to her. Each of her stories is always laced with a (what she thinks is subtle) hint at a "poor me, but I'm strong, so I'll be okay" kind of feel.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, college. How beautiful you are.
No comments:
Post a Comment