I've been thinking a lot about my spiritual growth and the changes in my character due to the influence of my faith in Jesus Christ. I am a "Mormon," and am so grateful for it. I have especially been pondering the progress that I have made, and the steps that I can take to be sure that I don't lose the lifestyle that gives me the great spiritual power I desire. Because of this, I have put together an article addressed to recently returned missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I gathered all opinions and advice from 40 returned missionaries who had returned from their missions anywhere between 1 and 24 months ago. These are the experiences and advice that they, as a collective, wished they had known (or stuck to) when they got home. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------
You’ve heard and read all the advice your priesthood leaders
will give you about returning home from a mission…here, we give you OUR experiences and advice, having just left missions ourselves.
The perpetually faster winding down of the clock. The last farewell to the ward members. The exit interview with the mission
president. The anxious night of little
sleep. The packed bags. Seeing your home from the airplane
window. The long-awaited embraces. The stake president. The last click of the tag. This whirlwind of emotions comes blazing
through so quickly, you’ve scarcely blinked before it is over, and you find
yourself alone, with no companion around…just you.
You’ve heard it over and over, but you will understand more
with time how much your full-time mission was an essential beginning to your
full-life mission. Well done, you’ve
just had the training wheels taken off your bike. Now you will be expected to ride on two
wheels alone. It’s important to
recognize that this new stage of life is a higher order of living, rather than
the lower order it will seem to be.
Heavenly Father trusts you now to know what you know and to live it even
with homework and occupations and relationships and bills on your mind as
well. It is a challenge worthy of study
and preparation.
Without training wheels, you are sure to biff it on the
pavement a couple times. We beg of you,
do not get discouraged when you suddenly find yourself not living the standards
you expect of yourself. It may
happen. Just pick yourself up and try
again. It takes practice. It’s like when you got on your mission, and
every time you and your companion were leaving, you’d just hop in the car, once
again oblivious for a moment that you need to stand outside the car and help to
back it up. You beat yourself up for it
every time! For three weeks you groaned
as your companion reminded you again and again.
But there’s nothing wrong with that.
You figured it out, and are so good at it now, it will feel very strange
to get in a car, alone, and back it with no one around. It just becomes natural. Don’t give up on yourself too soon because of
stupid mistakes. We all make them.
You may find that after a while, your mission will almost
disappear. Your friends will get tired
of “when I was on my mission…” and it will soon seem as if you had never been
gone. This is important. You should take some time and write down your
thoughts you have as you’ve returned home from your mission. And as memories come to mind, write those
down as well; sometimes our journals will fail us in telling our favorite
stories. But this “disappearing” of your
mission is an opportunity God will give you to make new spiritual memories and
developments. You will find yourself
damned if you consistently reach back to your mission days to share a spiritual
experience with a friend. Live in such a
way that you can also begin with “Just last week I was talking…” or “Yesterday
when I reading…” This is an excellent
way to gauge your progress in spiritual growth.
Don’t be afraid, you are not leaving your mission behind…you are
building the rest of your life upon that foundation. Just because you cannot always see the
foundation does not mean it is not integral to the structure.
Here are a few tips that we have found as we’ve ridden the
roller coaster of returned missionary life for the past months. We hope that they will help you as you learn
from our mistakes (as everything we alert you to, we do because some of us have
made some kind of mistake that helped us realize that it was very important):
---------------------------------------
Spirituality
You may have heard many returned missionaries in your family
or in the ward where you served tell you that it was devastating when they got
home, because they lost so many of their spiritual gifts. “All those memorized scriptures…within two
days I started forgetting them!” or “I couldn’t just look at people and know
what they needed anymore,” or “All that power was gone…I was just a normal
person again!”
Don’t listen to any of these people. It is only your decision to be mediocre that
will cause this to happen to you. We ask
you: what would be the point for
Heavenly Father to send you out on a mission, to gain spiritual power,
knowledge, and gifts, just to send you home and take it all away? There would be no point. He wants you to keep the gifts He gives you. Please don’t throw them away as people may
subtly encourage you to do. You’ve
learned the formula for great spiritual power:
more than three kneeling prayers a day, a period of time each day to
really delve into the scriptures and pick them for treasure, actively looking
for ways to serve in every day-to-day activity, spiritually creating your day
before it is physically created, keeping your room and house clean…leaving
these things behind are what will zap you of your gifts.
Elder L. Tom Perry said, “If the world has diverted us from
the practice of prayer, we then have lost a great spiritual power. Maybe it is
time that we rekindle our missionary spirit through more frequent, consistent,
and mighty prayer.” Of the study of the
Gospel, he asked, “as we return home, how great it would be to hold daily
family scripture study. If we leave home, couldn’t we invite roommates and
friends to study with us? The practice of holding regular study classes would
help keep the doctrines of the kingdom clear in our minds and offset the
persistent intrusion of worldly concerns. Of course, when we marry, we have
eternal companions with whom we can study and share gospel teachings. The
scriptures are always there to deepen our understanding of the purpose of life
and what we need to do to make life more fulfilling and rewarding. Please keep
alive the practice of regular individual and companion scripture study.”
Remember as it says in the section heading of Doctrine &
Covenants 4, “the things of God must be sought after.” On your mission, experiencing the use of
great spiritual gifts may have seemed second nature…this is because of the
hyper-consecrated lifestyle you were living.
Now that you’ve returned home, you will become more aware of how much
you actually had to work for that Spirit.
It can be very easy to think that faith unto power will still come
naturally. Don’t. James E. Faust taught that “members of the
Church are to seek after loveliness. We do not seek a veneer painted on by a
worldly brush but the pure, innate beauty that God has planted in our souls. We
should seek after those things that endow higher thoughts and finer
impulses.” If there is anything
virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, you must seek after those
things.
We testify to you that you can continue to become more
powerful than you were on your mission.
Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ will always cause you to grow…never to
lose these things, or the Atonement is in vain.
You can gain incredible insights through the scriptures as your mission
president did. You can command
angels. You can invoke priesthood
blessings. Rather than a “missionary,”
the word has simply been changed to “disciple,” as Paul or Peter. Do not go back to your boats. Satan will try to convince you it is the only
thing left to do.
Helpful Rules:
- Read the scriptures every day for a minimum of ten minutes. It’s very possible, we promise.
- Study the scriptures every day for a minimum of twenty minutes. That’s the time equivalent of watching 5 videos on YouTube.
- Say kneeling prayers as you get up and as you go to bed, and before you study. Say prayers periodically before you get out of your car. Continue to pray over your meals, even at McDonalds (even with a group). Don’t forget to pray.
- Never miss a Church meeting. Remember your investigators? There’s rarely a good excuse. Without ordinances (like the sacrament) your spirit will starve.
- Go to the temple regularly. Once a week if possible. Minimally 3 times a month. Said President LeGrand Richards, “I want to tell you, outside of these holy temples and the sealing ordinances therein, men cannot learn fully of his ways, nor can they walk in his paths.”
- Write in your journal each night.
- Share the Gospel every day (it doesn’t have to be with nonmembers!).
- Always be taking an LDS Institute class each semester, whether you are going to school or not.
Ponder…
Deuteronomy
4:29; Hebrews 10:22; 2 Nephi 26:13; D&C 54:10; D&C 88:63; D&C
112:10; AoF 1:13
---------------------------------------
Service
A strange shift you will discover as you come home is that
you will suddenly be thinking about yourself much more frequently. What career do YOU want? Time to buy YOURSELF new school clothes. What do YOU want in a spouse? Pursue YOUR dreams. What are YOUR hobbies? …You will be hit by a montage of YOU. It can be easy to forget that Heavenly Father
expects you to be actively searching for ways to help any and all people around
you. Especially with all the
technological devices there are nowadays, you will find it extremely easy to be
sucked into your own world and somehow not notice others’ needs.
The section heading for Doctrine and Covenants 4 states that
“valiant service saves the Lord’s ministers.”
Ultimately (there are so many superlatives in this Gospel…), it is by
service—the way the Lord Jesus Christ would render it—to our fellow men that we
are saved from our sins. It is in these
acts that we find the sponge of the Atonement scrubbing its deepest on our own
souls. Be aware of the people around
you, and continue to “Open Your Mouth,” and you will be able to feel that you
are truly still a missionary in the Lord’s service.
“If the world could only know how the Lord has crammed the
earth with heaven, and how every common bush is afire with God, through the
restoration of the gospel,” pondered President LeGrand Richards, "‘A
marvelous work and a wonder,’ and it is all of that, far beyond the ability of
any man or any woman to comprehend. The greatest mission of the Latter-day
Saints is to be able to understand and appreciate what the Lord has done, and
then make their lives conform thereto.”
Another reason the solidity of your life may seem to waiver
as you arrive home is due to the loss of a set-apart calling. When you are released, you will be without a
calling for a period of time. Without a
calling in the Church, it is exponentially more difficult to receive direct
assignments from God. Every week,
approach your bishop and be sure you’re getting a calling soon. Among other duties, you will receive a
Home/Visiting Teaching assignment. We
can promise you that there are few duties you will be given you that will
compare in power, authority, and revelation received to your mission than this
will. As a missionary, if you were
charged to concentrate on a certain family in the ward by the bishop, would you
have visited them only once a month?
The Lord holds you to a higher standard of service now. You may begin to forget that standard, as you
will not see a great many members of the Church who remember that standard as
you come back home. But it is those that
truly remain Returned Missionaries through the course of their life that are
called as stake presidents, Relief Society general presidents, and
Apostles. How long will you choose to be
a Returned Missionary?
Helpful Rules:
- Keep a notepad by your bed or desk where you can write down the names of those that come to your mind as someone you can bless in some way.
- Until it becomes natural in the non-missionary setting, keep track of OYMs. These don’t have to be instigations of Gospel conversations…they just have to be an instance of you reaching out of your shell to say hello and get to know someone new. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t do it!
- You only need have one sit-down Home/Visiting Teaching lesson with the families you are entrusted with each month…but interact with them more often than that.
- Magnify your calling. Always be sure you pray to Heavenly Father to know what that little extra is you can do that was not outlined for you.
- Always pay tithing on all your income, and fast offerings each month.
Ponder…
1
Chronicles 29:5; Matthew 25:21; Jacob 1:19; Mosiah 2:17; Mosiah 18:29; Alma
34:28; D&C 4:2
---------------------------------------
Identity
Congratulations, you now have two identities: The “You” everyone knew before your mission,
and the “You” you are now. You will
become very aware of this as all the people you talk to when you get home will
only know the prior. No one will call
you “Elder” or “Sister” anymore. No
matter how firm you may be in your resolves of how you will live your life as
you leave your mission, it will be extremely easy for those lines, goals, and
identifying attributes to become clouded or seem less important when you get
home. That does not mean you can’t do
it…we’re just saying you must know now to brace yourself for it. You will likely come back to find your family
and friends living certain aspects of their lifestyle that will worry you, or
you may experience things in the world in certain venues or through the media
that will offend your spirit. Write
those things down; keep them somewhere you can refer to them in times of
confusion or frustration.
There will inevitably be a couple things about you now that
those around you may not readily accept as permanent changes in your
character. This is a great
blessing. This dichotomy of identities
you have been given is a blessing from your Heavenly Father as your first task:
to prove yourself. The first question
your Heavenly Father is asking when you get home is “How much of that actually
changed you?” And this is how He
asks. And it is a charge worthy of a
disciple with such blessings as you have.
Embrace the situation and dispel all confusions: Declare to your God, your stake president,
the High Council, your family, your bishop, and to your friends who Heavenly
Father has shaped you into…it will be one of the greatest blessings in their
lives to see that in you.
Said Elder L. Tom Perry:
“Opportunities to teach the gospel and baptize are not exclusive to
those who wear the badge of a full-time missionary. I wonder why we allow the
fire of missionary service to diminish when we return to the activities of our
life in the world.” Jeffrey R. Holland
stated, “When the Lord delivers [a] person to your view, just chat—about
anything. You can’t miss. You don’t have to have a prescribed missionary
message. Your faith, your happiness, the very look on your face is enough to
quicken the honest in heart. Haven’t you ever heard a grandmother talk about
her grandchildren? That’s what I mean—minus the photographs! The gospel will
just tumble out. You won’t be able to contain yourself!”
Remember that your identity as a missionary need only change
minutely as you arrive home. Other than
gaining some other worldly duties and losing proselyting duties and some rights
to revelation for certain people, you don’t lose much else. You keep your long-term goals, you keep your
Christ-like attributes, your knowledge of the scriptures, the way you think,
your sensitivity to others’ spirits, your passions, your discipline, your
yearning for truth…you are in every way the same person through the transition
home…simply on a new assignment.
Remember that and the world will not be able to take these things away
from you (as much as it will try).
The spirit you are now contains much greater amounts of
light and truth than your spirit two years ago, and with that added Word in
your heart, subtle things will offend that spirit. Things like growing your hair out, wearing
clothing with inappropriate insignia, listening to songs with inappropriate
lyrics or swearing, watching many PG-13 movies…some of these things are not
morally wrong, but remember that your spirit operates at a different standard
now; if you break that standard, be prepared to live with the subtle
destructive consequences. Speaking of
this issue, Elder Rex D. Pinegar warned, “The counsel I would give to my
missionary, and to others who may be faced with the decision to continue or not
to continue a righteous course, is to recall the experience of Oliver Cowdery.
Oliver had begun his labors in the kingdom with a faithful and humble service. The
Lord rewarded him by giving him the gift of translation. He told Oliver of
marvelous contributions he could make toward enlightening the people if he
would continue faithfully in his efforts. Later when Oliver attempted to
translate, he failed. The Lord told Oliver it was ‘because that you did not
continue as you commenced.’ (D&C 9:5) Oliver had not continued in his
righteous efforts, and the gift was taken from him.”
President Spencer W. Kimball pleaded, “Please, you returned
missionaries … , please do not abandon in appearance or principle or habit the
great experiences of the mission field when you were like Alma and the sons of
Mosiah, as the very angels of God to the people you met and taught and
baptized. We do not expect you to wear a tie, white shirt, and a dark blue suit
every day now that you are back in school. But surely it is not too much to ask
that your good grooming be maintained, that your personal habits reflect
cleanliness and dignity and pride in the principles of the gospel you taught. We
ask you for the good of the kingdom and all those who have done and yet do take
pride in you.”
Helpful Rules:
- No matter how you are encouraged to, do not lower your standards. Despite the peer pressure, in times of need, it will be you that people turn to for help from the priesthood power of God, because you will have it.
- Find someone to be accountable to…your bishop, your father, an old companion…talk with them frequently to account to them your progress in personal Standards of Excellence.
- Continue to look the part of a missionary at all times. Men, show those around you that you respect the office of Elder to which you will be called for perhaps the next several decades.
- Don’t quench your thirst for knowledge. Get as much education as possible.
- Ponder on your patriarchal blessing frequently.
Ponder…
Colossians
2:5; Job 27:5; 2 Peter 3:17; James 1:12; Alma 17:1-3; 3 Nephi 5:13; D&C
101:35; JS-H 1:25
---------------------------------------
Media
Many of us found that the first thing we were overwhelmed
with was being surrounded by media devices:
iPods, phones, laptops, televisions, radios, headphones, movies,
YouTube, facebook…it is rampant. And
everyone you know will have two full years’ worth of that media they want to
share with you. You may find yourself
spending an awful lot of time—on YouTube and facebook especially—surfing the
web if you are not careful with the time the Lord has entrusted you with. Elder Neal A. Maxwell cautioned, “Cataclysm
[Calamities] for the people on this planet is most likely to flow from technology
created by men who cannot also tame that technology because they cannot tame
themselves by using the taming truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”
There are many things in the media that you will want to
catch up with and discover from while you were “away.” We caution you here: Don’t just jump in and soak it all in at
once. This can end very badly. As you do expose yourself to all that is in
the world through television and social networks, take it gradually. Slowly introduce new materials throughout the
first few weeks, and you will be much safer.
For others of us, it was our initial reaction to shy away
from it altogether. You can miss out on
a lot of really good opportunities if you do this. Especially through social networking, it is a
true miracle all the ways we can keep in touch with people anywhere in the
world. You can be more aware of the
needs of those who live near you that you can help, and you can also keep tabs
on all the marvelous people you met on your mission. Without the miracles of modern media, it
would be so much more difficult to keep strong ties with those you are leaving
in your mission field as you jump back into “real life.” Please don’t cut yourself off from the world,
but don’t become of the world either…just be in it!
Helpful Rules:
- If a video or song has inappropriate content in it, get rid of it. These are not necessary for your eternal progression, so they are in no way worth your quick degeneration in spiritual matters if left unchecked.
- Make sure that duties you have (such as chores around the house, homework, callings, etc.) are taken care of for the day before moving on to media.
- Find someone once a day that you can lift and encourage through a social networking site. Find good ways to share the Gospel through the internet as well.
- Pornography is out there…much more than you remember it being two years ago. Run away from it, always.
- Whenever possible, choose physical communication over virtual.
- Keep the Sabbath Day holy.
Ponder…
Exodus
20:7; John 15:19; 1 Nephi 15:24; 2 Nephi 28:31; Alma 53:20; D&C 43:16;
D&C 121:35
---------------------------------------
Courtship and Marriage
By now you’ve probably heard several important priesthood
leaders tell you opposite things about the way you should pursue the next big
step in our lives: Marriage.
This is because all of it is right! The biggest thing for us has been to not
stress over it. Just make sure you have
your priorities straight. Marriage is
the next essential step in your life; don’t let too much time go by without
your progress in the matter. Don’t hide
from the opposite gender and opportunities to go on dates….but don’t be an
engagement-seeking maniac either. Just
live life, always keeping in the back of your mind that it needs to happen
soon. Heavenly Father will guide your steps. It is your job to simply keep options open,
continue to create opportunities and respectfully pursue eligible avenues as
they appear. President John Taylor said,
“Man is destined, if he improves his opportunities, to higher and greater
blessings and glory than are associated with this earth in its present state: …
he may stand pure, virtuous, intelligent, and honourable, as a son of God, and
seek for, and be guided and governed by his Father’s counsels.”
In order to do this successfully and in the Lord’s way, you
must have the utmost respect for the opposite gender at all times. Always be aware of their needs and
feelings…never do anything that would hurt them or break their trust in you. And never put yourself in a situation where
the higher laws of chastity could be broken or even appear to be broken.
“May we as individuals have the determination, the courage,
the ability to stand up and do those things which we know are right, realizing
that we are the spirit children of God, with the potential to make it possible
to be like him if we will follow his teachings and keep his commandments,”
taught President N. Eldon Tanner, “And while we are doing it we will be
happier, more successful, more respected and loved than if we were doing
anything else, because this is the work of the Lord. We do not like to deal with people on whom we
cannot depend. I sometimes wonder how the Lord feels about us when we make our
covenants with him and fail to keep them.”
And remember, there’s not just one out there that is the
only right choice for you. The life is a
brilliant workshop in agency, and there are always many ways to make the right
choice. Whoever you choose is the right
choice. This is an eternal decision…they
will have always been your soul mate because you chose them in this life, not
the other way around.
Helpful Rules:
- You know how to make an investigator pool. Do it.
- Looking for dates, this is perhaps the most nerve-wracking form of OYM. But the scariest OYMs often resulted in the greatest blessings, did they not?
- Never be alone with a single member of the opposite gender in a building or apartment. Respect them enough to make sure there are other people in the vicinity.
- Pray before a date that you will know whether Heavenly Father approves of you pursuing that course as the date moves forward.
- Take good care of your body; strive to understand the Word of Wisdom more fully.
- Listen to your mother. She’s right more often than you think.
Ponder…
1
Corinthians 3:16-17; 2 Corinthians 6:14; 2 Nephi 10:23; Alma 38:12; D&C
38:42; D&C 132:19-21
---------------------------------------
Coming home from a mission is tough. We know, we just did it. We’ve experienced a lot of homesickness for
the mission, frustration at personal failure, uncertainty of the future,
disgust at the world, stress from being misunderstood, and solitude in our
trials. But more than anything else, we
would wish you to remember that you just spent two years giving more than
seventy hours a week proselyting and teaching, and paying your own money to do
it…have faith that the Lord is going to bless you for it. Heavenly Father is proud of His returned
missionaries and is looking forward to blessing them, especially as they prayerfully
seek to adjust to “the rest of their lives.”
You are in good hands.
We testify that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of
improvement and of increasing happiness.
We know that if you are consistently living that Gospel of exercising
faith, repenting, making covenants, and receiving the Holy Ghost over and over
again, that you will never find yourself wishing you could go back. It is impossible. Wherever you are in your life will always be
the very best time in your life. You
will look back with an eye of gratitude rather than regret. We can promise you that “Here” and “Now” can
always be the very best places to be, if you will trust Him.
We love you very much and consider you our brothers and
sisters. You belong to a huge family
now, one of millions of returned missionaries seeking to establish the cause of
Christ upon this land. Stand with us,
and we will stand by you.
We offer all this to you humbly in the name of our Savior,
Jesus Christ. Amen.
-Returned Elders and Sisters of The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints
No comments:
Post a Comment