Today's Date

So, I'm not one of those guys that goes on dates all the time.  In fact, it's a rare occurrence.  And when I do go on a date, it's for those big things like Homecoming Dances or 5-hour epic activities I've thought up.  I just don't think about it.  Somehow dating and pursuing relationships with women just hasn't ever really made it up there on the priority list.

Dating is one of those subjects that everyone has questions about, everyone has stories about, opinions about, expectations for...but that no one has great answers for.  What makes the perfect date?  Is it chocolate?  Conversation?  New life experience?  An attractive counterpart?  Surprises?  Good music?  No music?  A great kiss?  No expectations?  High expectations?  Heavily planned?  Haphazard?  I sure don't know.

But before we qualify a date at its best (which we shall have to address in another blog post), we first have to go down to the very basics:  What makes a date a date??

This evening, I'm going to a jazz concert that I have to go to for a class.  I was going to go alone, because today is the big USU vs. BYU game, and all my friends are going to lose their voices at that thing.  Then, out of nowhere, this girl I've just met and expect to become good friends with, who found out I was going to the concert, had also been planning on going to a concert tonight, and decided to go to the jazz concert I'm planning to attend.  She asked me all the details.  I was so excited to have a friend to accompany me on my adventure to the theater.  Then, everyone else started calling it a date.

Is it a date?  I hadn't thought so...I mean, we're both planning on going, but I'm not picking her up or anything, I'm just meeting her there.  I'm not paying for her ticket, she's getting one on her own.  We'll definitely sit together, sure, but because we know each other and expect to enjoy each the other's company.

Apparently it's a date if it's "Planned, Paired off, and Paid for."  Well, it's not paid for.  But, according to my friends, that just makes it 2/3 a date, which is almost a date, which is good enough.  Does the girl's attractiveness play a factor in it or something?  The cuter she is, the less it has to be a date but still be qualified as a date?  If so, then this is probably a date, because she's really cute....

Wait a second!!

I bring five of my friends to my house to play games and eat ice cream that I recently got from Wal-Mart.

[Planned, Paid for]

Madison and I come out of class, and it's time for lunch.  I'm feeling generous and buy her pizza.

[Paired off, Paid for]

We're building some big project as a group, and to cut time, different people in the group are assigned to go off and get some needed materials so we can all come back and get the project done quickly.  Luke and I go off to get the wood.

[Planned, Paired off]

So, what you're telling me is that all throughout my life, I've been sporadically dating men and women alike with no idea that's what I was doing.  Cool.

We're all dating everybody.

Then again, what's wrong with tonight's concert being a date?  What does that change?  Am I expected to do anything differently if it IS a date I'm about to embark on?  Should I bring her chocolate?

I guess the big question here is, are both people on the same page?  We all know it gets real awkward real quick if one person thinks it isn't a date while the other person thinks it is.  No matter how casual the experience or conversation, that always surfaces if it's happening, and both go home feeling embarrassed.  But then, in order to steer away from such shame, must you always establish with the other person whether or not it is a date?  'Cause that also has great potential for awkwardness.  The dynamic changes so fast if both of you have made a pointed effort to be sure that whatever you're doing is "NOT a date."  Then, the whole time you're together, you just feel like you're lying because you're totally on a date but just didn't want to call it one.  Then you lose all hope because even though you're mildly interested in them, they obviously aren't interested in you, or they wouldn't have made a joint effort to agree that it was not a date.  Then you wonder if you've thrown your relationship into jeopardy by going on this NOT date at all.

So then, the obvious answer to avoid all of this is to always establish that it IS a date.  ....But then, you come off too strong.  They think you're a stalker or you're planning on marrying them next week.  Thus, knowing the above stated information, we just know it is a date and don't say it.  Making it a date is apparently the least awkward thing to do, but because it's weird to always formally establish that it is a date, we all just assume it is a date.

And then we're right back where we started.  Maybe dates don't even exist at all!  Have you ever been on a date?  Or did you just say you were, because in your naivete you didn't know they don't actually happen?  Or have you already been on five dates today, with your best friend, your girlfriend, your teacher, your dog, and your mom?

*Sigh*

Well, since I don't have the resources or the mental energy to find some way to prove that anything is or is not a date, I'd rather come off driven and passionate about life than uninterested and bland, so I guess it's a date.  Awesome.  I've got a date.

OH MY GOSH.  What do I wear??!!?