Someday I would like to do a study on how in the world when you drop your pencil in class that it magically teleports to a place on the ground ten feet away from you. ALWAYS. It runs a marathon's distance away...always unnoticed! How does it do that??!
I become greatly concerned when people choose to brave the outdoors once it has dropped to 30 degrees Fahrenheit or below. I assume you understand the basic science behind an ice cube. When water's temperature gets down below 32 degrees, it solidifies and keeps your lemonade refreshing. It is rather alarming to me that when the cruel world drops to -11 degrees, that no one in the human race seems to recall that we are 75% water!! I don't know about you, but I'm seeing all kinds of red flags popping up around the idea of going outside when it is cold enough to immobilize all your bodily fluids. Does no one else agree?
Well, I saw one such person battling the bitter city air today on my way up to campus. My sister Kelby was driving, and I spotted a man named Spencer slowly being immobilized at a bus stop (the water he is made of was solidifying instantly right in front of his face as he breathed!! Does no one pay attention to major warning signs anymore?) and suggested we pick him up and give him a ride up to campus. We'd already passed him, but not too far, so we pulled to the side of the road, I rolled down my window--but only for a brief moment--and shouted his name.
Darn headphones.
Well, it was time. It seemed the only way I was to perform this good deed was to confront the lethal weather myself, unarmed and unprepared. I jumped out of the car and moved swiftly toward him. He didn't see me until I was right upon him (the freezing temperatures must have already brought him to a nearly catatonic state). As he turned around, I asked with a friendly smile, "You want a ride?"
Unbeknownst to me, Kelby had realized that no vehicles were heading toward her, so she put the car in reverse and started heading toward us before I'd reached his position. With such perfect timing, in fact, that Spencer didn't even have time to get done being surprised that I had appeared out of nowhere to offer him a ride before a car just magically appeared in front of us. It took me off-guard, so I'm sure for him it was very disorienting. I felt much like Aladdin offering a magic carpet ride...only it was to a dude and I wasn't tan or shirtless. A little confused, he stumbled into the car--nigh his last breath, I'm sure--and we were on our way. It was brilliant.
In accordance with the weather, I have recently been inspired by the outfit style of Peter Parker from the newest Spiderman movie. Have you ever noticed that he just wears way too many layers? He's always got some kind of undershirt, then a long-sleeved shirt, then a T-shirt over that, then a hoodie, then often another hoodie, and then he puts a heavy coat over top of all that. It's ridiculous how many clothes he is wearing...and he always looked great! So, I have been experimenting with my limited wardrobe, and putting on at least four pieces of top clothing before putting on my coat. I'm like an onion with all these layers! Or an ogre. There are a lot of combinations (some of them atrocious)! It's funny how just associating yourself with something/someone cool in your mind can seep into the way you feel about yourself. When I wear this many layers, I find myself feeling like Spiderman incognito as I walk around campus. Sometimes it gets to my head...so if you ever see me kind of strutting to my next class, I'm probably imagining what it's like to be a superhero.
I think I'll invent pencils with a string coming off the end equipped with a little clip, perfect for fastening to a shirt collar or wristband or ponytail. No one would ever suffer the pains of searching their classmates' feet for lost writing utensils ever again!
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