So I have this ridiculous green hoodie that's little draw strings are actually headphones in disguise. When I go around with my hoodie strings in my ears, I look REALLY stupid. But I love it. And they are some of the best naturally sound-blocking headphones I've ever had! I've found it quite entertaining to turn up the music so loud that I can't hear my voice at all even when I belt out to the songs. It tricks my brain into thinking that I sound like the artist! It's quite the confidence booster. It's also strange to try to whistle to a song while you can't hear yourself...because without the sound, it turns out there's really no way to tell if you are whistling or just blowing out silent air. It can actually be a little distressing!
I was walking behind this girl today as I was heading to class...and I had to look around to make sure I wasn't on camera or something. You see, she had this perfect little "walk the line" strut in her high heels down the slushy sidewalk in her perfect red coat and black skirt... but as she made her way down the cement runway, it seemed just about everything was out to get her! I saw giant clumps of snow, icicles, hyperactive birds, and a rock someone kicked all whiz by her, missing her by centimeters. It was rather impressive. It was like the perfect television commercial where the main woman walking through a bunch of crazy stuff just looks perfect as she strides through untouched. She must have used Pantene Pro-V that morning or something.
I have a gymnastics class I go to every Monday and Wednesday with my sister. It is directly after a class I have that is a good distance away, so I always have to book it over the ice and sludge to get there in time to change into gym clothes before class starts. To accomplish this, I have to go....there.....:
The Men's Locker Room.
If you ever wanted to see the perfect stereotype of the male species, you've just had to go hang out in a men's locker room. It's repulsive, really. I am always ashamed to be a man for ten minutes after leaving one of those places. I always cringe from the very beginning when I hear four or more voices all laughing in a really dumb, slow, low-pitched style...I always know I'm in for the full experience. I get to hear conversations like "Dude, I swear, she's a total babe, man. I mean, she is HOT." "Dude, that's so awesome, man! Did you kiss her, dude?" "No, man, she's got a dude she's already dating, he's a loser, dude." "Bro! Just kiss her anyway, man! She'll totally leave him for you." "You're so right, man! I'll do it tonight during study group, dude."
*shudders*
First of all, once any guy has said "dude" or "man" or "bro" more than three times in a short amount of time, I immediately assume that subconsciously they are insecure with themselves and their sexuality. It's very judgmental of me, I know, but it's usually true. I've also noticed that there seems to be a tapering off at either end of the age domain of a man in which he doesn't care what other guys see him naked. You see, little children go off running with no clothes on all the time. And people think it's cute, too. Then they grow up, and they actually are in clothes when they're in public, and even in public showers and such they'll usually wear swimsuits or something. But then there's a tapering off on the other side of the spectrum, too...and it's definitely not cute. I just don't understand why, once men have rolled over the 60-year mark, they no longer care to wear any clothing in men's dressing rooms, either. It's rather disturbing.
And guys hit and slap each other all the time. It kind of makes me feel uncomfortable...after a couple minutes, I'm just thinking "seriously, stop touching each other! It's weird!" But it always has to be at least slightly violent when they touch each other. The only exception seems to be a firm handshake either to begin a sporting match or when in a formal setting. Otherwise, they always have to hit each other. The hugging is my favorite primitive showing of brotherly love to watch, personally. They just can't hug each other without smacking each other on the back! It's not possible for them! And it's not just once, either. A minimum of two slaps per hug is required. This has become such an issue in our society now, when I went to an LDS temple to see a newly-wed couple be sealed together, the temple worker had to stop the group before anyone congratulated the bride and groom and told them to please refrain from slapping each other on the back when they hugged, as it disturbed the other people in the temple. EVERY GUY who hugged the groom slapped him on the back anyway, and he slapped them back. It's ridiculous. Any of you guys out there who want to do a social experiment, next time you hug one of your good guy friends, just embrace them, with no hitting involved. It's hard for me not to laugh out loud when I do it, you feel their whole body fill with awkwardness so fast. They just don't know what to do!
It's funny, there was one guy in the locker room today that actually pulled a stereotypical girl move, actually. I'm not sure what exactly had happened in his life, but apparently it was really exciting, because he exclaimed "Oh, this is such good news!" The other males, however were busy talking about girls in short shorts and doing that dumb laugh, so they weren't paying attention to him. So he waited like twenty seconds, then shouted out again, "Oh, this is such good news!" No one heard him. I laughed and continued getting changed, when just a few seconds later, I heard from behind the row of lockers, "Oh, this is such good news!" Apparently this was something he really wanted to "accidentally" share with the rest of the group, but no one paid attention. He ended up saying it nine times, with not even a change in inflection any of the times he said it. I was impressed at how stereotypically female that was of him to do. Maybe that's why it didn't work. Maybe most guys literally can't perceive things like that happening when they're in a men's locker room.
I find us humans so fascinating. We're so weird. And societies are so weird. Stereotyping is so fun, because you can ALWAYS find a great number of people that perfectly fit the description encased in the stereotype (that's where they come from). But I highly suggest that, while being amused by them, never actually place someone you see into one of those stereotype boxes in your head...because it will be your natural instinct to keep them there. Do you know that just the very nature of how our bodies take in and record the experiences we have each day that there is absolutely no way that you can meet someone one day and have them be the same person the next day? It's not physically possible. I love that about the human race. Just by the choices we make each day, we each can transform ourselves into absolutely anyone we want to do. It's amazing, really!
What did today do to you?
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